Today, I will graduate. I don’t know how I feel about this yet.
My class celebrated Senior Sunset today. Sadly, it was short lived because some people decided to bring alcohol and drugs to the party. Playing frisbee barefoot, kicking a soccer ball around a moist field, the smell of meat burning in a nearby BBQ and the laughter that echoed around the small park our class took over was all very enjoyable to experience. I loved those two hours I spent with my friends and graduating class. I wish the night didn’t end the way it did, I would have loved to spend another hour kicking that soccer ball around.
I sat around a group of my close friends, exchanged yearbooks and ate out of the giant Doritos bag we all shared together. We poked fun at each other as usual, got comfortable in the many layers of blankets that made the sitting arrangement so cozy and shared some good laughs. Most of the class was either piled around the BBQ pits by the picnic tables or thrown around the soccer field. But I stayed with those that I knew best. Did I wish to mingle and socialize with those I hardly spoke to? Not really. The point of this Senior Sunset event was to say our final good byes to our fellow students…but the people I truly said anything to were just the people I always hung around with.
Being the last day of school, I felt pretty sad to leave my locker, the hallways of my high school and abandoned classrooms aside simply to pack my things and depart from my second home. But I realize now that it is not the structures that make these places special, but the people that occupied them with me. So be it that I did not get to befriend every person of my graduating class or even learn all their names! I feel content knowing who my true friends are and I guess that’s all that really matters in years to come. Like I mentioned before, I do not know what to feel about graduation, but I suppose when the time comes, I will feel sorry for leaving high school not for the sake of my entire senior class, but for the handful few I truly care for and wish to make an effort in staying touch with. It is with them that every place I go to becomes a part of my memory and a part of my soul. It is with only them that I understand the grief and sorrow I might feel now that high school is over.
I learned so many more lessons simply in these past few weeks with the emphasis put on my graduation. But for now, this is all I will write. I can already imagine the smorgasbord of feelings that will rise inside of me once summer officially begins and high school is no more!
– The Paintress