Talk Sexy to Me

As a South Asian female brought up and raised in the United States, I have very different opinions and notions about sex and sexuality than my family. Some of my closest friends are Western-raised Arabic and Middle Eastern. However, not all of our views on sex are as liberal as the other. This usually makes for interesting conversations and debates because we all think differently about marriage, relationships and sexuality. While some of my friends believe sex should be reserved for marriage, others are very open to the experience earlier on in life usually depending on how they were raised to think about the topic within their families. In the United States, sex has equal value politically as it does socially making this controversial topic a talking matter heard in law and on the streets. Due to the current history America shares with the Middle East because of our recent war, opinions about the region both culturally and religiously face much criticism and bias. What intrigued me most about Shereen El Feki’s TED Talk was her ability to put the highly relatable social and political implications of an entire region under one topic: sex.

What I achieved from this speech was the transformation of perceiving sex as more than something than a relationship but also a subject that molds the politics of a society and a country. Sexual attitudes make up a major part of political and social arguments not just in the Unites States but also in other parts of the world. They are usually intertwined with family expectations and religions upbringings with little space to think openly. There are three things I hope to accomplish by sharing this TED Talk:

1. I really want to know what my friends (and fellow bloggers) who are reading this post have to share about Sheeren El Feki’s opinions about Middle Eastern “bedroom behavior” and if they can relate to the information she shared. Does any of it sound relatable? Can you agree with the cultural issue of sex being both a political and social problem within your community?

2. Most importantly, how have your views on sex changed since [if] you were raised in a different country and/or culture? Do you see yourself as being more liberal or conservative towards sex and sexuality and why (consider family values, community and upbringing)?

3. Last but not least, talk sexy to me. Enlighten me with your opinions, beliefs and values about the controversial topic of sex and how you think it impacts politics among your current community and homeland.

– J

2 thoughts on “Talk Sexy to Me

  1. It seems to me that these sexual attitudes and gender roles are used to control and manipulate society for the benefits of the government and those who are in power. The fact that there are double standards shows the true integrity of those beliefs and attitudes.
    However, I think in the “western world” there is the other extreme; sex is marketed as such a casual occurrence and not something to be taken seriously. Sitcoms are based around relationships involving casual sex with little to no consequences. We have shows like “16 and Pregnant” and we wonder why teenage pregnancy is so common.
    I think attitudes in both the Western and Eastern world are wrong about sex. I think sex is the ultimate sign of intimacy and should be shared with the person you love and intend to spend the rest of your life with.
    I think your sex life is a private and personal choice and something that should not be judged or scrutinized by anyone.
    I think everyone, both men and women, needs to learn to respect themselves, their bodies, and each other.

  2. A very diplomatic response. Thanks for sharing! I have mixed feelings about discussing sex openly. For one thing, it would be educational to talk about sex health, safety and sexuality while also allowing greater acceptance to sexual diversity but at the same time maybe give too much access and flow of the topic decreasing its maturity complex. I do however believe that sex plays a huge role in politics across the world because it brings religious views, family values and culture under one roof, forcing us to utilize these topics in order to create boundaries. Although the western world in which I live in talks a lot about gender equality, we fail to show it both politically and socially.

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